Truth is an interesting dilemma that both Amir and Baba deal with in their own lives throughout The Kite Runner. Baba frames truth as a right, one that lying will steal from you. However, he abandons this belief when he keeps the truth of his sons’ identities from the world. The tale of these two oblivious brothers highlights the pitfalls that lies create. Truth is the glue that keeps relationships together, therefore we can’t forget it’s importance. After being deceived about their relationship with one another, Amir and Hassan were robbed of the brotherhood they deserved, only if the truth was revealed by Baba.
The thing about truth is that it is hard to uphold, especially in Baba’s case. We’re told that Baba faced many adversities to get to his position in life. Early on, Amir tells us, “But despite Baba’s successes, people were always doubting him.” (Hosseini, 17) He’s always been underestimated, but came out on top despite everything. That’s why he wouldn’t disclose the knowledge of his scandal for the protection of his honor and reputation. The culture that is displayed here by Khaled Hosseini is known as an honor-shame culture, which is most commonly found in Asian or Middle Eastern countries like Afghanistan. This means that a person’s worth is based on their honor. Once their reputation is corrupted, they’re shamed and would lose their worth in society. The choice Baba made to keep the truth from his children served to maintain his honor in this culture which values it so highly. Essentially, his lies were meant to protect his reputation and business, but in doing so, he destroyed relationships between everyone involved.
We see that throughout Amir’s life, he tries to live up to Baba’s expectations, which always seem to be barely out of reach. Rahim Khan tries to explain this away by saying Baba was just taking out his frustrations with societal expectations on Amir. However, this doesn’t excuse Baba’s disapproval of Amir in my opinion. No matter how much pressure Baba was under, he shouldn’t have blamed Amir, who was oblivious to the guilt he was making Baba feel. Baba’s affection towards Hassan made the situation even worse because it seemed as though he loved an outsider more than his own son. Hassan was more like the son Baba wanted, but because Baba couldn’t be a father to him, he constantly compared the two. This clearly left an impact on Amir, making him feel like a failure even though he was valid and gifted in many ways. Even as Amir grew up and moved away from their house in Kabul, the shadow of his choices and inadequacies haunted him. No matter how much a child grows, the feeling of trying to please their parents will never leave (Kennedy-Moore, 2018). Knowing the truth could’ve changed the outcome, but Baba would’ve still been at fault. Baba’s fear of society drove both of his sons away from him and created an unmendable rift between them, one that lasted beyond his own death.
The main conflict in Amir’s story comes from his relationship with Hassan, his brother and unwaveringly loyal friend. Without the presence of the truth in their lives, Amir felt inferior to Hassan as a result of Baba’s affinity for him. Amir only cared about Baba’s acceptance, and that was the only thing he never got. Society convinced us that Amir was higher in status than the Hazaras, who were just servants. The ethnic discrimination present in Kabul made Amir and Hassan’s friendship complicated, causing a discrepancy between how the two brothers viewed each other. Amir only saw Hassan as a friend when no one else was around, which made him take Hassan for granted and eventually betray him. Had Amir known that they were brothers, he might’ve appreciated Hassan more as a friend who stuck by him no matter what. Amir is clearly flawed when we first meet him, and although the truth could’ve changed a lot of his decisions, there’s not always a clear answer to these speculations.
After Amir betrayed Hassan to gain Baba’s approval, Hassan still continues to be a loyal friend and servant. However, Amir isn’t comfortable with reciprocating those feelings, as loyalty must stem from honesty (Wilson, 2019). The presence of truth is honesty, which was lacking as Baba wasn’t honest with his sons and Amir wasn’t honest with Hassan. Throughout the whole book, Hassan’s unwavering character doesn’t allow the world to put out the light that is his happiness. Though this might be unrealistic, it offers the perfect foil to Amir. Amir was constantly bogged down by expectations placed on him by Baba and the weight of his own guilt. This shows the importance of honesty as it offers a way for your conscience to be eased. The person being harmed the most by a lie is usually the liar themself.
My life wasn’t as eventful as Amir’s but I’m still human, so I can relate to his struggle with loyalty and Baba’s struggle with truth. Near the beginning of my seventh grade year, I made a mistake. I got bored in science class. But like any kid would, I longed for something fun to happen. So I opened my email and started texting one of my old friends: “I’m so bored right now, I’m in science class”. Little did I know that his mom saw the email too and asked my mom about it. I convinced them that it was my friend who sent the email, not me. In an effort to save myself, I unknowingly added to my punishment and betrayed my friend in the process. Over the next few weeks, I started to forget my transgressions, though the guilt of hearing about the discipline my friend was going through lingered in the back of my mind. Eventually, the truth came out, as it always does. My mom realized I had lied to her, and grounded me after telling me to send an apology message to my friend and his mom. I felt horrible the whole time doing it and after reading Amir’s story, I saw the same kind of guilt in him. Truth had healed the relationship with my friend, because now we can look back on it and laugh.
In the end, Baba’s lies destroyed relationships, where truth would’ve preserved them. Though we can only speculate how Amir would’ve changed if he had known the truth, it’s safe to say that the three of them would’ve had better relationships with one another. Both Baba and Amir would live without guilt and perhaps Hassan could’ve seen his best friend one last time before leaving forever.
Sources:
Hosseini, Khaled. The Kite Runner. Riverhead Books, 2003.
Kennedy-Moore, Eileen. “What Are Reasonable Expectations for Children?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 31 Mar. 2018, www.psychologytoday.com/hk/blog/growing-friendships/201803/what-are-reasonable-expectations-children.
Wilson, Robert. “Who Deserves Your Loyalty?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 15 Jan. 2019, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-main-ingredient/201901/who-deserves-your-loyalty.
Reflection:
This book was a good read that provoked a lot of thought and emotion in me. Though the story itself wasn’t really that relatable to me, I think everyone can relate to Amir in one way or another because he’s written so realistically. Even if he’s a deeply flawed character, we still root for him to do the right thing because we might see ourselves in him. Khaled Hosseini also tackled themes of honor and shame, inequality for women in certain cultures, and most importantly, redemption. I enjoyed reading the book, even if it was for a class. I wasn’t really expecting such a deep book when I first read the title, but it thoroughly surprised me.
Kacy Tam - College Writing 
…”even if it was for class…” haha!
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