My Comments for Others (S2):
- Alenna Holsclaw – Worldview Research Paper
- This is great! Your paper was captivating and motivational all at once, while also showing us your personality and giving us a glimpse into who you are. You talked about a topic that is really controversial in the world now, but you made informed conclusions that didn’t seem like you were just enforcing your own ideas onto others. I completely related to your story about growing up in a country where it seems like you’re different than everyone else, and you put your emotions into words so clearly. I love the way you’re trying to break down stereotypes just based on nationality, great work!
- Po Yin Sham – Merchant of Venice Mini Essay: Prince of Morocco’s Racial Situation
- I can tell by reading this essay that you have a heart for this topic, which is still very controversial right now especially. The issue of racism has been prevalent for so long, when I first read this scene in the Merchant of Venice, I didn’t think too much about it. But your piece made me realize that Shakespeare put those lines in the play for a reason. Sometimes, it’s discouraging to hear about recent events that are hateful based on the color of one’s skin, but the way you gave us a glimpse of hope was refreshing.
- Shun Wai Kwok – Act 4
- I think you made good points about the importance of mercy, and they way you explained Portia’s connection between mercy and God was very interesting. The last few sentences here were really important because they explained the difference between justice and mercy, even if they sometimes might be similar. I found it interesting how you didn’t seem to take a side on this argument, giving both Portia and Shylock explanations for how they might feel in this situation. Nice work!
- Dorcas Seto – Much Ado About Nothing Reflection
- I liked how you focused on a relationship that wasn’t one of the romantic couples, which is what I thought the play was originally about. You gave a fresh, new take on the play and gave new light to the relationship between leader and subject. I never really gave much thought to the way Claudio and Don Pedro interact, thinking that it was just normally how friends act with one another. But you reminded me that this piece has many more layers than I thought and there is actually lots of meaning in every relationship in Much Ado About Nothing. I haven’t personally watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but you convinced me that Jake and Charles from the show were similar to Claudio and Don Pedro with your persuasive writing.
- Ruby Cho – Kite Runner Final Essay
- Your paper was well written and shows the importance of truth in a relationship very well. I liked how you connected the idea of trust and truth in the first paragraph since it laid the groundwork for the rest of the essay perfectly. There was also a lot of research that went into this, especially as you were explaining the culture in Afghanistan and the way honor and shame work, since it might be confusing to people who haven’t really experienced it. Good job, Ruby!
My Comments from Others (S2):
…”even if it was for class…” haha!
You did such a good job explaining the significance of communication in relationships using examples from the play and your…
Yooo Kacy! First, the poster looks dope. You certainly know what you’re doing with your poster design. I also like…
KACYY!! As soon as I saw your restaurant review I fell in love with the aesthetics of it! I love…
My Comments for Others (S1):
- Ruby Cho – College Entrance Essay
- I enjoyed reading your essay about this topic. The topic was really different than the status quo, but you approached it very naturally and with your word choice and analogies, you introduced the topic to the reader in a new way that is really thought-provoking. Great work!
- Rainbow Law – CREDO
- I really enjoyed your story and the way you used it to make a point. I feel like everyone has done something weird like that in their life at least once, so the feeling of goofing off with your friends is pretty relatable. The pictures also went well with what your were saying and they gave us a good idea of what was actually happening. I liked the overall message you had here, but I also think it could’ve been explained a bit better. Overall, good job!
- Ada Chan – Short Story
- That was a great story, I thought it had a really interesting premise and natural progression into the plotline and conflict. The way that the story started didn’t seem like there was really too much wrong with the people involved, just a busy man working for his family. But as the story progresses, we learn more about the world they live in and the weird AI aspect to the characters which I didn’t really expect (although the picture at the beginning somewhat gave the twist away). Overall, a good plotline and progression throughout it!
- Toby Wong – CREDO
- I thought this story was really engaging and honest. The addition of the personal connection to the topic makes the presentation come together really well. I can tell there’s a lot of personality behind the writing and in a weird way, the story gives me more insight into who you are as a person.
- Jackie Lee – Descriptive Essay
- Your piece was really nice, I enjoyed how you captured the essence of a scared child in your writing, making the reader feel the same way you felt when you lost your phone. You used a lot of analogies that were easy to understand and not too much difficult vocabulary. The ending was a good way to wrap up your story with a moral and what you learned from the experience. Good work!
My Comments from Others:
That was a relatable and interesting topic that we, as teenagers can relate to! I really like how you used…
…”even if it was for class…” haha!
You did such a good job explaining the significance of communication in relationships using examples from the play and your…
Yooo Kacy! First, the poster looks dope. You certainly know what you’re doing with your poster design. I also like…
KACYY!! As soon as I saw your restaurant review I fell in love with the aesthetics of it! I love…
Kacy Tam - College Writing 
That was a relatable and interesting topic that we, as teenagers can relate to! I really like how you used…